From a recent book, Sharp Objects (by the same author of Gone Girl), I read for pleasure, this was after the reporter did a naughty thing and fucked a pretty vulnerable younger man in a cheap motel room:
Woke up sticky and peevish. Bought a toothbrush kit at the FaStop, along with the strongest smelling lotion and hairspray I could find. I brushed my teeth in a gas-station sink, then rubbed the lotion into my armpits and between my legs, sprayed my hair stiff. The resulting smell was sweat and sex under a billowing cloud of strawberry and aloe.
Mmmmm . . . fake strawberries and spunk!!
I hope she didn’t put the lotion on her actual box, though, and just smeared it on her thighs. Otherwise . . . uncomfortable.Read More
Yessssssss! I know it’s supposed to be funny but I take it pretty seriously. Though I like it when people are shaved or trimmed when they want to be, you know I *love* hair: facial hair, body hair, pubic hair, armpit hair . . . I love it!
“The lower pudenda region is Mother Nature’s billboard. It should say, ‘Ready to Fuck.’ Not only should you not be trimming and shaving, you should be maintaining a swampy atmosphere that’s just shy of growing fungus. This is where life is born. You should be giving off a hot musk that you can almost taste.“
I totally have a crush on this guy now and may finally watch Parks and Rec just because he’s in it.
His voice is hot, his face is beautiful and expressive, he’s funny, and he’s married to Megan Mullally who made Will and Grace worth watching the few times I accidentally turned it on and always wished the whole show was about her.
What a fucking hairy human dreamboat.
Rubbing my fingers through my own thicket, smelling my own hot musk and imagining being all tangled up in grizzled furry yummy-smelling man.Read More
When we were fucking the air around us got warm and sweet and salty . . . like something delicious being cooked downstairs with just the softest warmest parts wafting upstairs to tease and invite us down to eat.
MY PUSSY SMELLED LIKE PINEAPPLE AND BACON INFUSED SLUTBUTTER and warm friction.
Not in an overpowering diner-greasepit at breakfast way (though I think the coconut oil we use as lube sometimes might have enriched the hot oil note) . . . it was just a suggestion of bacon (and I’m not just trying to capitalize on this century’s fiendish obsession with all things bacon). It was more of a salty canadian bacon / ham slice warming in a pan smell.
And it made Delia want a Hawaiian pizza. Which she NEVER wants.
I don’t know where the pineapple note came from either, because I hadn’t had any of that either.
Anyway . . . it smelled delicious. I wish I could convey the erotic subtlety of these aromas instead of what probably sounds like an overpowering greasy-spoon filled with construction workers jacking off on plates filled with crispy bacon. It was the kind of smell that makes you want to inhale deeply to get more of it, and follow the trail of scent to where you’d no-doubt find something delicious: MY PUSSY.Read More
I smell like Elmer’s glue today. This is neither bad nor good.
Actually, it does smell kind of good. There’s a clean, sharp, nostalgic-stickiness to the high note of it.
Beginning of birth control placebo week. Haven’t been fucked in WAY too many days. Been eating too much sugar and even french fries.Read More
Today I shot some homemade porn featuring my wife wearing red suspender fishnet stockings, a black g-string and matching black shelf bra.
Delia’s become a real anal slut as her porn star identity has modestly (haha) grown over the past couple of years . . . I think TS Gape Lovers clinched it; she came home from shooting for Jay Sin winking her talented ass-pucker at everyone!
To build on and showcase her anal skills, I shot her using this enormous thick black dong today:
She wanted me to be the one to suggest using the big one in the video . . . and I happily obliged in my fave role as perv-behind-the-camera. I got totally carried away talking to her about training to be the biggest slut — the most SPECIAL and ONLY slut — to be able to accommodate massive freakshow circus cocks, telling her I will have the hugest of the most desperately-hung big men lined up outside our door waiting to finally be able to immerse themselves into the only hole they’ve ever met to satisfy them, and even enjoy doing it. And then she came with that huge greased-up motherfucker stretching her ass!
After we were done shooting and starting to clean up I finally realized my panties were totally slick and wet . . . sometimes when I’m working as the dirty old cameraman I get so lost in the process it takes me by surprise what a huge turn-on it is for me. I think this one was especially surprising because I’m not really into extreme penetrations or all of that degrading schtick . . . at least, that’s what I tell myself. And then my panties prove me wrong.
JOIN DELIA’S SITE to get instant access to mine, too . . . and see today’s HD anal video with the big huge toy upon release PLUS all of our other porn!Read More
Have I become a spunk maven or what is going on?!?
So I was in bed for the first time with a young man nearly twenty years my junior with his thick cock stretching out his SpongeBob Squarepants boxer shorts and yeah . . . pretty aroused, when he said “mmmmm, it smells like YOU already had an orgasm . . . ”
WTF?!? I don’t think I smell any different after I have an orgasm than before. And I hadn’t already came. Not within the past couple of hours anyway, though I *was* super horny all day and had been masturbating to this video I made with a different new guy the night before.
Maybe he was smelling residual cum from the two bastings I got the night prior?
Do you believe that the smell of a woman is DISTINCTLY different after she climaxes than it was prior to orgasm?
I really don’t think so. Especially since I had *not* recently had an orgasm (it had been at least two hours I think). I think he smelled pussy and for whatever reason he associates a detectable pussy scent as the scent of a woman who’s having a bunch of orgasms or something. Or I think maybe he was trying to say that I smell like an extra-horny slut.
On the site where I met him he has a number of smelly-pussy things listed as “fetishes”, including such gems as:
- “i know i make you wet. i can smell it.”
- i can smell your wetness already
So that is kind of hot and all, but I do think people are confused about what exactly they’re smelling and why and where it came from.
Hearing this so soon after this remark (the first I’ve ever gotten like that) I wonder if this is some kind of newish (or has a certain segment of the population always done this?) imagined or exaggerated thing with dudes. I’m probably not articulating this properly, but these observations seem outsized. I’m pretty sure my cunt hasn’t become an industrial-strength cum-nebulizer in the past year or changed in a significant chemical way. Are they imagining that as an older woman I have a smellier pussy? I’m not saying it always smells like a dainty flower or even pleasant all of the time, but that’s how most vulvas operate and I’m relatively certain my twat still has normal good and bad days, and that the days and times I was with these guys weren’t particularly strong or offensive (not that they said it was offensive . . . I mean, they seemed pretty into it).Read More
I just lowered my face into the crotch of my panties while I was peeing and the first smell to hit me was a faint nostalgic touch of spicy men’s cologne . . . and then the musky furry hot smell of my snatch.
I don’t know where the cologne smell came from (no men or people wearing men’s cologne or any perfume has even been anywhere NEAR these panties) and I don’t even really like getting my pussy eaten that much, but oh my sweet fucklord . . . it brought me back to being in my twenties. And even my late teens.
I want some new dick so fucking bad. New TEMPORARY dick. FLEETING dick. A man like a jungle-gym to climb on with a thick hard pole to ride.
Hair on his FACE. Hair on his CHEST. Hair on his THIGHS.
And I want all of that hair to smell like a man who got a little pretty for me and then got a little sweaty with me and then all of his FACE CHEST CROTCH hair got infused with the bass note of my spicy animal cunt honey smell. Right now I just want that six-and-a-half-feet of man steeped in a spontaneous “sleep”-over with my pussy, and to bury my nose in soft brown man-body-hair. That smells like what I just smelled in my panties.Read More
Thanks to my friend Mia for the heads up on another hilarious Ylvis video, this one perfect for featuring on My Smelly Pussy:
Your vagina is a self-cleansing muscular tract
with over 50,000 nerve cells ready to act
You gotta work it . . . (we’re not talking ’bout a traditional employment situation)
Ahhhhh . . . I love it.Read More